Rewind

I have to disappear for a while, starting Friday, so I am trying to pump out as many posts as I can until then. I'm still on Columbus Day weekend, so bear with me. Let's blow through the week...

Monday.

I'm not sure the proper way to go about these things, but it seemed like a good idea to have a talk with Betty about dating her sister. I gave her a call, expecting to get her voicemail, but luckily she was around and receptive to grabbing lunch. I gave her the brief details of what transpired, and she was silent for a minute. Not a good thing.

"Do you want my honest opinion?" I said sure. "Don't date her."

I wasn't sure what that meant, so I suggested that if dating her would be awkward, I'd call it off. Betty immediately cut in.

"No, that's not it at all. I think you'd be great for her. But I think she'd be terrible for you. Look I love my sister, but this is the thing: you're new. She likes new and she likes exciting. Things will be great for a month, maybe two, and then she'll want to move on. But she won't do it herself... she'll just act really cold and distant, maybe cheat on you, who knows, until you break up with her. That way it's your fault."

I explained to her that Sandra had, in fact, broken up with Adam, not the other way around. And, as an aside, asked if he had ever hit her. She said if he did, it was news to her, and that her breaking up with a guy was a surprise, but not something that should be indicative of a change in behavior. "Personally, I'd much rather see you with Emily [her older sister], but she's practically engaged. I guess the advice I'd give is... go slow, and don't get too attached."

So it was a "thumbs up" all around for this girl. I mean, when a girl's sister warns you about her, isn't that a sign? But, because I'm an idiot, or rather, because I like breasts, I'm going to see where this goes. And I don't have to worry about taking it slow, because I'll be out of the country for the next who knows how long. But I haven't dated someone with this many issues in a long time... I'm wondering if I'm better equipped to handle it now. I guess we'll see.

Tuesday.

I fought with a guy at the Northgate Best Buy for fifteen minutes over the price of a plasma TV. Here's some logic for you: the TV I wanted (an LG 50" plasma) is normally priced at $4999, and was on sale for $3999. That's 20% off a brand new item, not inventory they're trying to get rid of. That says to me, "Not only can we sell this item for $1000 less than normal, we can do so and still make bank." When I tried to haggle with the kid about the price, he said he couldn't do anything about it, because the profit margins on these TVs was already "razor thin". I called him on that immediately. "How about this. You say that your profit margin on this TV is razor thin. So here's my deal: I will pay you the $3999 asking price for this TV or $500 more than the price you paid for the TV, whichever is less, providing you show me proof of your own cost. Deal?"

Well, he wasn't about to do that, telling me that he didn't know how much they paid the manufacturer anyway. "Well then," I asked, "how do you know your profit margins are razor thin?" Busted. "That's what they told me, OK." Right. For someone who doesn't even work on commission, the guy was certainly a company guy. What I need to do is find a local electronics store, where I can haggle with a professional. Art of the deal and all that. If anyone has a suggestion, let me know... the big box stores have put all the mom and pops out of business.

Thursday.

Here's where the fruit flies come in. I wanted to hit up this place I'd heard about, but Matty said the place had too many fruit flies. At first I thought "fruit flies" was a euphemism for something, like meatheads or fat chicks or something like that, but he was talking about actual fruit flies. "Every place has 'em. There's nothing you can do about it. But that place had a swarm the last time I was there." I'm still not sure about that, as we hit a place on Capitol Hill instead, and I saw no fruit flies. In any case, I won't mention the name of the place I wanted to go to, until I can verify the voracity of Matty's claims.

Sunday.

Seahawks game! Seahawks-Texans was the "Sunday Night" game on ESPN, which on the West Coast means the "Sunday Afternoon" game. And luckily the Texans are horrible, so the victory was almost guaranteed even with Matt Hasselbeck's questionable decision-making skills. If I coached that team, I'd do nothing but pound the ball with Shaun Alexander and maybe, occasionally, every so often throw a short pass to a receiver. It's not so much Hasselbeck's fault... his receivers suck. Well, Jackson isn't bad, but he's hurt now anyway, so he doesn't matter.

The Hawks were up 14-0 early, and it snowballed from there. We were pretty high up in the rafters at Qwest, so the action looked a little more like blimp footage than Madden '06, but the atmosphere was great. By the third quarter the whole section was openly laughing at every attempt the Texans made at playing football. The final was 42-10. The Hawks had something like 300 yards rushing. There's no way they can really be that bad, is there?

Anyway, that was two weeks ago. I'll try to recap last week tomorrow. Stay tuned.