Hangover

I've got a serious hangover, unlike I've had in a while. And that's good. Every once in a while a man has to tie one on, have himself a good old time, and then take his medicine the next day, and take it like a man.

My friend Betty had a housewarming party... she just bought a house in Ballard. Matty and Angie were there, Betty's two sisters and their boyfriends (one of which, Adam, was a complete tool), Keith and Andy from work, and a bunch of other people I may or may not have mentioned before. A bunch of her coworkers dropped in for a few minutes here and there, but not for any length of time. So we took to drinking, making full use of the blender I brought as a housewarming gift. I myself was getting busy with Cowboy Roys... the girls were making a mess of the kitchen trying to make margaritas. There were all manner of breasts around, most spoken for, but some available. Anyway...

Adam was that kind of tool who thinks he knows everything about everything. The end of the Mariners game was on (by my request), and he had something to say about every play. "Mateo's been in there too long." "Hansen sucks, he shouldn't pinch hit for Torrealba." "Boy, I bet the M's wish they had Guerrero!" OK, thanks for the commentary. When the game ended, though, I thought it was the end of it.

But no. A while later, his girlfriend found out in passing that I was tour guide for Southeast Asia, and she started asking me questions about different places and the best places to go. And everything I said, Adam was right on top of with something to say. Apparently, Nepal is overrun by communists, and there's nothing left of Malaysia since the tsunami. Oh, and we also had about a five minute argument about whether the Khmer Rouge operated in Cambodia or Thailand, because he had "written a term paper on it" when he was in college. I said I hoped he failed that class, because I'd studied the country and I'd been to Cambodia a dozen times, but he was not only the kind of tool who thinks he knows everything, he was also unable to admit he was wrong, even after nine other people disagreed with him and we showed him an encyclopedia.

Most of these folks are pretty domestic, so there was no strip Twister or anything like that. There was a major Taboo battle, and I failed miserably at this DVD game where you have to answer movie trivia. It took me half an hour just to figure out how the special dice worked. Now playing board games might sound pretty lame, but it was actually the opposite, especially when everyone's half in the bag and just about anything anyone says becomes a laugh festival.

Round about ten thirty the cops showed up, responding to a call from a neighbor. I didn't notice them come to the door, so I continued just as loud as I was before they showed up. Everyone was like "Shut up, shut up, it's the police!" Hi, we're not in eighth grade anymore, we can have a party and not run and hide when the cops show up. Turns out that it had nothing to do with being too loud. Someone had screamed pretty loud, and one of the neighbors was worried that there was some domestic abuse. Being the dedicated civil servants they were, the po-po came out, investigated it, and left, but not before being asked, to the amusement of everyone but Adam, what country the Khmer Rouge were in control of.

I don't remember much after the cops came... I'm pretty sure I either passed out or fell asleep, and I'm almost positive I didn't get laid. Morning came fast, and I persuaded everyone who was still around that a trip to Beth's Cafe was in order... I had the biggest jonesing for one of those crazy large 12-egg omelettes with unlimited hash browns, and maybe a P.O.G. (passion fruit, orange, and guava). As it turns out, I ate maybe a third of the omelette and none of the hash browns... my stomach had no interest in food, so I spent most of the time staring at it longingly. I drove myself home afterwards, took some aspirin, and fell asleep again. Woke up to see the end of another Hernandez gem. I seriously need to start planning my extracurriculars around his starts. He's that good.