You are on the Global Frequency

At lunch today we watched the unaired pilot for a show called "Global Frequency". The idea behind it is that are hundreds of people across the world, each with a different specialty, and they solve the world's problems, under the guidance of a mysterious woman named Miranda Zero and her multilingual switchboard operator. In the pilot episode, the problem is a guy who was basically a giant capacitor, but was super-modified by the Russians in an effort to turn him into a human bomb. As it turns out, the guy liked America, so he didn't blow himself up when they wanted him to. At the start of the story, he is throwing off pretty large electrical charges, which do nasty things like turn people to ash, and the charges will get larger and larger until all of San Francisco is destroyed... unless the Global Frequency can help! In this case the Global Frequency was an ex-detective in need of a shave, and a blonde scientist with model looks and six advanced degrees, including one in 'biomaterials', which is explained as something like cybernetics, but with nanotechnology (I'm not sure where you go to school for that sort of thing). They all communicate with what look like broadband satellite cell phones... and to be honest with you, they're similar enough to what we use that they've probably raised some eyebrows. The technology is closer to real life than most shows, except the scenes where they start throwing around buzzwords like 'quantum' and 'Hawking radiation' (well, at least the two are related).

The show was interesting, better than most "agency" shows... I liked the fact that Miranda set up the Global Frequency because none of the government agencies share their information. Amen to that, Miranda. Most of the time it borders on ridiculous. The FBI and CIA love to wave Executive Order 12333 around in each other's faces. That's the one that says that the FBI can't operate outside the U.S., and the CIA can't operate inside the U.S., unless the Director of the CIA and the Attorney General agree on it... as though neither of them violates that Executive Order countless times a day in the routine course of business, not even counting the black bag stuff they don't document (hey, if you don't document it, you don't have to worry about FOIA). The truth is that they're all pitted against each other, they all like to be the hero, and sharing information means sharing the glory (and quite possibly the $$$).

I like the premise: that at any time, you can call someone in the general vicinity of the problem with the expertise to help, and they drop what they're doing and save the world. The problem is that it's just not realistic. Because that guy who read U2's research and knows how to dismantle an atomic bomb? He's most likely the one who assembled it, and has no interest in taking apart his own handiwork. There's a major trust factor involved... and most of the time, people don't put themselves in life-threatening situations for the good of mankind. It just doesn't happen.

I guess it's just as likely as a blonde scientist with model looks and six advanced degrees, though.