Kenji Johjima

The Mariners have signed Kenji Johjima to a multi-year deal. I'll admit I have no idea who this guy is, but I like his name. Kenji Johjima. It's easy to say. I looked him up on Google and he looks like he'll provide some decent pop in the middle of the order. His stats look a little like Jason Varitek's. You remember Jason Varitek, right? We traded him and Derek Lowe away to get Heathcliff Slocumb. Excuse me while I punch random objects within striking distance.

I have another top secret mission coming. This mission involves flying to Maine and eating large quantities of turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce and watching football and falling asleep on an uncomfortable second-hand couch. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.