Number One Son

I've been a bit down in the dumps lately, so I haven't been keeping up with this journal. I read this piece on Ichiro that cheered me up for about ten minutes... I thought I'd share it for any M's fans that haven't seen it yet.

Raffy

Last week Greg called with M's tickets... I had just gotten back and wasn't in the mood to go out. Turns out it was the night Rafael Palmeiro had his 3,000th hit. Now I feel like an idiot... in retrospect, I need to be a bit more stoic about what goes on around here. I don't really care about missing the hit, even though it's a part of baseball history, it's just missing out on stuff in general. I've already given up on having a "normal" life. But I think trying to live the abnormal life with some normalcy definitely beats sitting at home alone because one of your coworkers was cut up and nobody knows what to do about it.

I called my dad last night and talked with him for a while. Mom was out with friends. It was the typical father-son bullshit, although he could tell something was wrong, so he asked me about it. I brushed it off as nothing, just something minor that was bugging me, and that was that. That seemed like a better lie than the official party line, anyway. But I'm wondering now what Copithorne's family thought when they were delivered the news. Not only is he lost to them, but they have no idea he died for something serious, something he believed in.

Anyway, I'm headed out drinking.

Extraction

Copithorne is dead.

I've been back for a few days, and I wasn't in the mood to write anything. I wasn't sure if I should write anything. The few of you that read this would probably prefer amusing anecdotes, but unfortunately that's not always the way it is. I feel I owe it to the man to explain what happened, even if that isn't his real name.

We were called in to perform an extraction, which is the worst sort of mess. Extractions are rare. When contact is lost with an agent, the modus operandi is to monitor but not to initiate contact. In other words, it's up to the agent to get out of whatever situation he's in and establish contact when it is safe to do so. It's also policy not to alert anyone to our larger presence; if an agent, as part of their cover, is working alone, and a contingent of agents intervenes, that agent no longer has any use in that milieu; they need to be reassigned and retrained, or simply retired. On top of that, an extraction can only occur when the agency has reason to believe that the agent has little or no chance of reestablishing contact himself.

When it comes to extractions, you have to assume that your target is already dead, that the mission will result in a number of additional dead people, and that you might be one of those additional dead people. It's not a fun assignment by any means. It's also one that everyone lines up for.

Six weeks ago, Copithorne went to the Ukraine to do gather intel on a little-known group called темно паника (Dark Panic... note: it sounds better in Russian). They're believed to be arms dealers, conventional weapons but well-funded, and Copithorne was supposed to spend a week or two assessing the threat level of the organization. He ended up sending a steady stream of info back to the agency for four weeks, when communication abruptly stopped. Jennings contacted the Ukrainians, who were unable to help, followed by the Russians, who had no interest in helping. Word is that Jennings actually met with his superiors, which almost never happens, and the decision was made to send us in.

The team of four, Abby, Gruber, Coop, and myself, were flown to Incirlik and then transported covertly to Sevastopol where we hopped in a van and set out on our extraction mission. Dark Panic's supposed HQ was just outside of Bakhchisaray, so it wasn't a very long drive, but it felt like hours. We busted into their HQ, expecting to meet all kinds of resistance...

The place was empty.

Let me tell you that Coop has been in this business for twenty years, and he was just as spooked as I was. Sometimes during an extraction you get the drop on people and it's over in seconds, and sometimes your targets are well-trained and vigilant, and a prolonged firefight ensues. But when you walk into a place and there's no one there, the first thought you have is 'ambush', and the next thought you have is 'they knew we were coming'. Then you don't know what to think. We found Copithorne... I'm not prepared to write about the condition they left him in. Suffice it to say he was dead.

The office has been quiet, and at the same time busy. No one's really sure what to say. We've lost agents before. It's never easy, but it usually doesn't sit quite like this. This one's going to take a while to get over.

Away For A Bit

Mission.

You are on the Global Frequency

At lunch today we watched the unaired pilot for a show called "Global Frequency". The idea behind it is that are hundreds of people across the world, each with a different specialty, and they solve the world's problems, under the guidance of a mysterious woman named Miranda Zero and her multilingual switchboard operator. In the pilot episode, the problem is a guy who was basically a giant capacitor, but was super-modified by the Russians in an effort to turn him into a human bomb. As it turns out, the guy liked America, so he didn't blow himself up when they wanted him to. At the start of the story, he is throwing off pretty large electrical charges, which do nasty things like turn people to ash, and the charges will get larger and larger until all of San Francisco is destroyed... unless the Global Frequency can help! In this case the Global Frequency was an ex-detective in need of a shave, and a blonde scientist with model looks and six advanced degrees, including one in 'biomaterials', which is explained as something like cybernetics, but with nanotechnology (I'm not sure where you go to school for that sort of thing). They all communicate with what look like broadband satellite cell phones... and to be honest with you, they're similar enough to what we use that they've probably raised some eyebrows. The technology is closer to real life than most shows, except the scenes where they start throwing around buzzwords like 'quantum' and 'Hawking radiation' (well, at least the two are related).

The show was interesting, better than most "agency" shows... I liked the fact that Miranda set up the Global Frequency because none of the government agencies share their information. Amen to that, Miranda. Most of the time it borders on ridiculous. The FBI and CIA love to wave Executive Order 12333 around in each other's faces. That's the one that says that the FBI can't operate outside the U.S., and the CIA can't operate inside the U.S., unless the Director of the CIA and the Attorney General agree on it... as though neither of them violates that Executive Order countless times a day in the routine course of business, not even counting the black bag stuff they don't document (hey, if you don't document it, you don't have to worry about FOIA). The truth is that they're all pitted against each other, they all like to be the hero, and sharing information means sharing the glory (and quite possibly the $$$).

I like the premise: that at any time, you can call someone in the general vicinity of the problem with the expertise to help, and they drop what they're doing and save the world. The problem is that it's just not realistic. Because that guy who read U2's research and knows how to dismantle an atomic bomb? He's most likely the one who assembled it, and has no interest in taking apart his own handiwork. There's a major trust factor involved... and most of the time, people don't put themselves in life-threatening situations for the good of mankind. It just doesn't happen.

I guess it's just as likely as a blonde scientist with model looks and six advanced degrees, though.

The Getaway

As promised, the e-mail I got the other day...

[edit] When in "getaway" scenarios, do you like to drive Audi S4s? I think they're pretty intense. They drove an S6 in that Ronin movie. Seems like an S4 would be better because it's got a smaller body so it'd be able to fit in tighter situations. Anyhow, I had an S4, but I got rid of it for a Jetta because it lets me blend in better. [edit]

You sound like an Audi enthusiast, and while I agree that an S4 would be better for maneuvering in the streets of Nice, you have to remember that in Ronin, they had people in the back seat, and while the S4 is a nice car, it's not exactly comfortable in the back, especially if you're carrying around a rocket launcher like they were (if I remember correctly). I have to think that a competent "wheelman" could handle an S6 no problem. Plus, they had nitrous.

Back to real life... in Ronin, the dudes knew they'd be intercepting the package on the road, so they had the cars ready. Very rarely do we engage in high-speed chases like the ones John Frankenheimer filmed, and very rarely do we need to "make a getaway", but when we do, it's not with an Audi or anything remotely like that. The part of the world we operate in isn't exactly the best place to find new, working automobiles. If you're in Bishkek looking for a car made after 1990, well, good luck to you is about all I can say. Obviously, it's easier in places like Moscow or St. Pete's, and it's easier in Vladivostok because of its proximity to Japan, but finding something like an S4 on a moment's notice in Central Asia is like finding Heidi Klum in your bedroom... it's just not very likely. So you take what you can find.

Boone

The Mariners really couldn't get anything for Bret Boone? Not even a couple of bats or a bucket of batting practice balls?

I'm convinced that this team will never win a World Series. Look... this team hadn't finished over .500 in its history until Ken Griffey, Jr. came around. He not only made this team a winner, but he also gave people a reason to visit the Ugliest Building Known To Man (aka The Kingdome). I realize that they couldn't keep all of the talent they had, Griffey and A-Rod and Big Unit. And they actually got two good players for Randy (Freddy Garcia and Carlos Guillen), and a decent replacement for Griff (Mike Cameron). A-Rod left... oh well. $250 million doesn't get you as much as people think. But did they have to dump all three of them (especially considering that Guillen, Cameron, and Garcia are all decent players somewhere else)? I loved when the team won 114 games a few years ago, and all the while fans were going on and on about how they didn't need these high priced guys to win. What did that 114 wins do for us? Nothing. Almost everyone on that team had a career year in 2001, and they still got whooped by the Yankees.

And now the same people who told us we couldn't afford Griffey, A-Rod, and Johnson went out and signed Adrian Beltre and Richie Sexson for big money? And how is that supposed to work, with the Angels and A's at least trying to build solid pitching staffs (don't look now, but the A's aren't that bad even without Mulder and Hudson).

You think Griffey wouldn't stick with the M's if he had it all to do over again. Yeah, I know he asked out of town, but I have to think a little persuasion would have kept him around... maybe a commitment to not selling off the team? I guess that's too much.

But I look around at other teams, like the Red Sox and Yankees and Angels, who are spending money and competing (although this year the Yankees not so much), and I look at teams like Chicago and Minnesota, who'll probably be wiped out come playoff time, but are at least fielding a competitive team, and I wonder what the heck the Mariners are doing. I'm overwhelmed by their lack of direction. And that's why I doubt they'll ever win the World Series.

I got an e-mail today that I thought was pretty funny... I think I'll respond to it later. You folks need to send me e-mail more often. In the meantime, I hope everyone had a good 4th.